To Piss Against the Wall or Not

This video-clip gave me more laughs in four and a half minutes than I’ve had all week. Pastor Steven Anderson (Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona) sermonizes on the phrase “him that pisseth against the wall” in I Kings 14:10. The phrase is also found in I Sam 25:22, 25:34; I Kings 16:11, 21:21; and II Kings 9:8, and is the Deuteronomist’s contemptuous way of referring to males destined to be slaughtered on account of “evil done in the sight of the Lord”, usually by Israel’s own king. “Those who piss against the wall” are simply translated “males” in most bibles, but the former is what the Hebrew text really says. As Tyler Williams notes, the Deuteronomist is “contemptuously comparing males to dogs who piss against the wall”.

Pastor Anderson favors the accurate translation over the sanitized versions but — astoundingly — takes it as a positive image for men in general: “God said that a man is somebody who pisses against the wall.” He then railroads Germany for policies which forbid men to urinate standing up in public restrooms, and laments that “this is where we’re headed in America today… We got pastors who pee sitting down. We got the President of the United States who probably pees sitting down. We got a bunch of preachers, we got a bunch of leaders who don’t stand up and piss against the wall like a man!”

If you don’t believe it, watch it right here. I laughed so hard I was pissing my own pants — and sitting down, which according to our God-fearing pastor leaves much to be desired in the eyes of the Lord.

UPDATE: Don’t miss the hilarious comments under Paul Martin’s post.

UPDATE (II): And certainly don’t miss Pastor Anderson’s sequel diatribe on the same subject, delivered two years later (April 2010).

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9 thoughts on “To Piss Against the Wall or Not

  1. Did this pastor not consider the possibility that uncircumcised men may have a greater tendancy to sprinkle?Seriously, though, this causes me to reflect on our priorities. This pastor (and we?) waste our time on biblical trivia while they die in Darfur and the world heats up.Richard.

  2. Well, you can pisseth any where and how you please, but give the Germans credit for being sanitary. And does this pastor really want us to believe that he never pisseth sitting down, even when he dumpeth?

  3. This has been an education. The Bible always gave me the impression that God kills those who <>piss him off<> rather than against a harmless wall. But who said any of this had to make sense?

  4. We actually watched that video in Sunday School this past week. Caused great amusement all around.I grew up in the baptist/fundy tradition, so preaching along those general sorts of lines (i.e. poor inferences from the text) reminded me of my youth.I always find it a shame when genuine ideas for discussion (such as the role of “manliness” within our culture) get overrun by such bad preaching.For a much more intellectual approach to the topic, check out Ann Douglas’ book, The Feminization of American Culture. Douglas argues that the church was the major catalyst for the growth of feminism beginning around the 18th C. At least as far as I can remember. It was about 20 years ago when I read it.

  5. I like his interepretation of this phrase, if only for stirring the “pot”. And you never know, he might have a point about Germany being a little uptight about how its citizens urinate. The important point is to be tidy and respectful, regardless of method!

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